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| wow... |
| 06.03.05 (6:09 pm) [edit] |
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Wow, the end of the year, i have not a clue where it went, im gunna miss everyone so much. i hate end of the year, its soo final. and depressing b/c people i think of as part of my family are gone!! neway today was the last day of school i had sooo many good times and a lot of bad but i made it through thanks to my family @ school!!!1
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| not in a while |
| 05.02.05 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
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so i havent blogged in a while and im like touchin base b/c i havent been very up to typin in a blog, but im better now so yea!
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| the sky is up but the clouds are here |
| 02.24.05 (4:01 pm) [edit] |
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blogging has once again gotten away from me, today not so interesting, just that paul finally stood up to his ex gf's in my honor, sad thing is he is bout a week exactly too late. if only he would have stood up to them last week before we broke up :( oh well, it hurt but im slowly getting over it. but then today dumb ass josh and chelsea had to go and try to ruin everything by starting rumors around school about me. thats fine but neither of them kno the truth and so like they are talkin stuff severly pissin me off, and paul having finally stood up to them, could make everything right like he promised to do one day but i dont wanna believe in something that i have and then gotten hurt in, but that was basically today and yea ...
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| whats^ |
| 02.22.05 (10:28 am) [edit] |
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why is it so hard for me to let myself be happy? even with Corey i called him today and made an excuse as to why i cant go to the mall today with him. maybe its just b/c he isnt that type i mean yea he is a great guy and i love him but i dunno so far thats where im at today and i dunno what the hell is goin on or what im so confused.
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| wow not for a while |
| 02.21.05 (7:51 pm) [edit] |
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Wow my blog kinda got away from me, i kno Corey doesnt blog anymore or probably check mine but what the hell i used to be an avid blogger and it was a way for me to vent, so ima get back into it its just that life has been such a bitch and school has been such a bitch and guys and eveything really but im happy now, after a long bout of depression, the rents think im bi polar but im like my moods dont change that quickly, they could i suppose but they dont. lets start off, one Paul finally asked me out after how long?!?!?!?and then his bitch ex gf ruins it in a day and then late that night im balling over some guy. that was a whole new thing for me cuz i never do and i was hurt but more suprised at my reaction and how much exactly it hurt me, more then i expected. and so i was depressed and then Corey and i just started connecting again, and i kno this sounds weird and retarted and not at all like me but i dunno something about him just reassures me that he wont ever hurt me like Paul did, and maybe its me still being depressed but trying to hide it but he is just so sweet and cares and he wont hurt me, he understands me better then most people.and in that i include Paul, who i thought did but now i c i was wrong, and then my feelings for Zach have come back but he doesnt like me and thats just foolish to get back into that mess again, but i dunno, this has been the hardest year to date really....
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| sup? |
| 01.19.05 (3:52 am) [edit] |
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wow i havent blogged in a really really long time, not that it matters but just oberserving,. so whats new in the blogging world? anything ?????
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| *shrug* |
| 01.04.05 (5:39 pm) [edit] |
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i dunno im so fuckin confused
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| FUCK! |
| 01.03.05 (2:47 am) [edit] |
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:cry: school starts again today adn i am sooooo dreading it! is the school year over yet?
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| im so fuckin confused |
| 12.30.04 (3:41 pm) [edit] |
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ok so i wanted to inform the masses that i no longer care about anything that i once did. its not important because all of my dreams and goals will never be reached and i will constantly br foced to lower my sights on the things i want most. however not anymore. if i no longer have dreams i cannot be hurt as much and dissapointed as bad. instead i can go on as a normal teen and goes to the movies and hang out with all my friends rather then stay at home bury myself in my school work and then run off to volleyball practice for four hours and work out tirelessly for a goal of playing college volleyball. the chances of my gettinga scholar ship are slim and i wont set myself up for failure anymore because all it does is bring on dissapointment i dont want anymore then i want the success. this may be just teenage rantings but im not sure what exactly i want anymore. poeple look up to be because i was sure and now i want to tell them to find someone new im just like them and just as unsure. but am i really? i dont know anymore and i wish i could just figure out this part of my life, it wold make me a lot happier with out me worrying about how to save the universe or just my list of broken dreams.
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| the holiday of which i speak |
| 12.23.04 (7:49 am) [edit] |
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ok so christmas yay lol can u guess the false happiness? a lot of my seems just to not be into it this year oh well hopefully we can make better of it. wow i kno a rare glimmer of optimisum
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| today... |
| 12.01.04 (2:15 pm) [edit] |
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Today was a day of todays did nothing soecial in particular, had to rehearse the song with Jen and Corey today, was interesting, i wasnt nervous until now when i have had time to think about it and now im kinda scared. and then paul again has been flirting with me and like i want him to and i dont, i still really really like him but he is dating one of my best friends and i dont want to hurt chels and i kno he doesnt either. but i cant get him to stop and i cant stop myself, and part of me , the part i listen to doesnt want to make him stop either. and im de stressed about my grades now mom really helps with that she knos how to like calm me enough to think semi clearly. and i kno how hard it is for her to help me when she has her own problems and stuff which is why i hate relying on her so much but she is really the only person who understands. *sigh* i dunno ill prolly blog later.
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| the day after the snowflake incident |
| 11.30.04 (2:54 pm) [edit] |
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ok well she isnt mad at me anymore and in fact she was actually glad that i unlike my brother is always there when she needs to vent or needs someone to talk to. she also does the same for me, my brother well he is there for comic relief. today as usual i stress and freak out about my grades causing not only myself stress but my mother as well. which i hate doing but she isnt the only one that actually succeds in calming me, and then Paul comes into her classroom after school today when i have taken my cutomary place behind her desk against the file cabnits and the truths of Civics class today is unfolded, Paul adn i flirting to no end despite the fact that both of us have "others" . and then because Borsheim yells or talks "sternly" to me causing paul to be the reason i get in trouble. mom scared him by warning him that should he keep me from not doing my work again she will hunt him down and punish him. i found this hilarious until her radar fell upon me and i had to actually start work. which i should go do now before i get in trouble. :)
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| it all started witha snowflake |
| 11.29.04 (1:41 pm) [edit] |
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ok so i feel really bad now, today it snowed so we had a 90 minute delay. Cool right , no class until 9! WRONG! well so i went in right , Mom was already there, (teachers dont get the perks of a delay) already the day was hectic and it was freezing, all my classes i had the chill but other then that it was an ok day until 8th mod when i stayed in moms room cuz i really needed to go home but couldnt cuz it was too late in the day for me to, so then i was about to go out with my friends when walked out the side door without a coat! i thought my mom was about to take her boot and kick me but she never does so its ok, instead she yelled and told me to go to my locker and get my coat before i go, being me and having a problem with sarcasm i rolled my eyes and ignored her, then she got even more annoyed so i walked past her desk like i was gunna go to my locker, i did eventually but that was after and argument. stubbornly i refused to put it on and walked out, as a last minute attempt to make peace and she called out behind me have a good afternoon , and still in an irratated state i was yea sure and walked out , but i saw a glimpse of her and she looked kinda up set with no other reason as she had miraculosly managed to accpomplish a lot today! but so now i feel bad and rightly so but i dunno what do u think?
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| Is it Sunday? |
| 11.26.04 (5:20 am) [edit] |
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meh, today feels like sunday,i have o much work to get done its not funny, my grades are all slippin, if certain people find out there goes volleyball. Mom says she can help me but she has her own problems to worry about and dom has just as much work as i do so he cant, and im stressin cuz i wont be able to get my grades wont be up by friday! which is mid quarter when all the first half of the grades are due! am i stressin over nothin? NO i have every right i think considering its my future and my grades! anyway thats just alittle insight if myself for today prolly blog later,
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| hello |
| 11.25.04 (8:54 am) [edit] |
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Yay BUG IS STAYING!!!! my twin is staying, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!!!! ihad to make a short blog now on ward to the feast adn cooking!
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| today |
| 11.23.04 (5:15 pm) [edit] |
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hallies offical last day was today, and when i retarted sevy in moms room asked if i was pregnant kinda ruined my entire day, so i was upset and angry..... mom let me stay in her room which always makes me feel better, its safe in there.... she could tell i was takin her leavin hard, and she was too, thats my twin adn ima be so lost there... that was today anyway.
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| ..... |
| 11.22.04 (5:15 pm) [edit] |
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sigh, i hate when i have to tell mom everything, i cant keep things from her and i really would like to, i kno that sounds bad but i dont want her to worry and freak out. so i ended up tellin her today about how i jut wanna leave and not have to deal with this anymore, hallie , my twin is gone and i wanna go to. im alone except mom but still.....
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| today... |
| 11.16.04 (11:54 am) [edit] |
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*shrug* boring day, two presentations, went well, nothin in civics, DOnlald is back, flirted with paul, missed corey, he wasnt there. um sang in choir, omg feliz navidad, could have like killed neptune, she annoys me so much, ok so hallie hits me in the side with her fat ass and i go falling into carlie, we couldnt stop laughing and neptune was all "girls..." and then i did it to her and she fell off the risers, it was funny. and then my fun twin was all my sister (me) is the most sarcastic person i kno! and im all HI!!!! lmao jessica and my tien we all um, ok.... it was hilarious but yea so that was today, not much went on in choir, u can always count on choir :)
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| meh, my week end |
| 11.14.04 (7:30 am) [edit] |
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OOOOOOO ok so i havent blogged cuz the damn site wouldnt let me on! but i beat them, hahahahahh ok enough of that, dom and i brought mom lunch on friday and we did mad libs, that was fun. later that night i had vlleyball and when i got back i was like sooooo hyper form the the game i was freakin corey out cu im was all hyper and kept singin, *i love to singa about the moona and the juna and the springa, i love to singa* it was fun and yea i was really really hyper and he was like omg! but yea then yesterday i had to clean my room and that was like blah! cuz ididnt really feel like it but oh well. anyway so that was my week end type thing i decided to blog!
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| i dunno what to think |
| 11.06.04 (10:47 am) [edit] |
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so dom and i are really worried about mom, she has been sick latly and reallu upset, not at all like her. last night was the toby keith/terri clark concert. way fun, was out really really late. and then this morning had to wake up at 9 to go to practice 4 bfv(blackforesetvolleybal l). just finally che cked my e mail and mom was all she feels guilty about yellin at her students, and i was there she was loud! on my way to my elective i heard it. and so she e mails me and tells me about the apology notes she is writing 4 all her homeroom. its my opinion that she shouldnt, they were acting like morons, runing around the lab and stuff after she warned them. its not her fault its their and chances are they have already forgotten about it. but i dunno what all dom and i are trying to do is make sure she is ok and as happy as she can be, we really hate to c her this way, its sooo not her. *sigh* i dunno really tired so ill proly blog again later.
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| what else? the election! |
| 11.02.04 (12:43 pm) [edit] |
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ok so todya was fun, school is a polling precinct, not my moms but a precinct and so we had voters in all day long. the hallways smelt soo good, they provided coffee and donuts for the voters, today the district also had the schools do their own little voting thing, so like my mom i voted for a certain party, and unlike my brother who opposes us , he voted the other way, all day long we were teasing and campaignig, away from the actual voters but still to each other, ot was the most split our school and our country has ever been. but anyway so ya, im sooo tired tho, a curse is upon me and has mannaged to ruin the week as usual. :(
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| day of the dead |
| 10.31.04 (3:36 pm) [edit] |
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*sigh* another halloween to right off as bust, people nowadays, one piece and then the rain/snow starts! how to ever show off our costumes if the weather requires a coat!hmmmm i think i have some twix in my pillow case, i must inspect it later all. :)
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| broken dreams and bonfire funerals |
| 10.28.04 (10:33 am) [edit] |
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ok so hallie and i were talkin and thinkin about having a funeral for all broken dreams, then we decided rather then something depressing like that we could so something for all are dreams that we want to come and arent already lost and kinda set them free so we can achive them. i was contrary to the dream funeral cuz my broken ones wer ekinda mended and now i can reach them with time and reason providing i dont screw it up. what do u think of the idea???:idea:
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| so sad |
| 10.26.04 (5:17 pm) [edit] |
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omg i found out how to work, and make quizilla quizzes and now i have 2 done!!! maybe break wont be so boring after all i could just write quizzes, i mean if im bored enough i might actually be able to make something worth reading, whats sad is i have been on quizilla since i have dated nathen and that was months ago and i onlt just figured out how to make quizzes, how sad is that?:lol:
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| meh |
| 10.25.04 (7:34 pm) [edit] |
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so bored today, i always have a boring fall break, it sucks. al my friends go places like cali or florida. while im stuck here, but some actualy go other places like cancun adn then like the bahamas. but do i? noooooooo im stuck here swimming la[s at the y and playin in the gym till ten, or i collapse which ever comes first. usually ten cuz i can play for a while with out stopping. today wasa really boring day, im sure more to come. i must away to dine
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